Thursday, 7 April 2011

"nothing tastes as good as..." YES IT FUCKING DOES.

apologies for the language in the title, but i'm peeved off. "nothing tastes as good as thin feels". now i'm not denying that i've used that in the past, I still do. but it irritates me. i'm not thin, i don't know how thin feels. but i DO know that ben&jerry's ice cream tastes freaking good. there's a few girls from my school who always post that as their facebook statuses. their not even anorexic. urgh.

ANYWAY!

intake was rather shitty today, not even going to write it here. i had a mini binge (2 teaspoons of honey and a slice of cheese with thai sweet chilli sauce - yah, i binge on weird food) but my lunch was worse. me and my sister were at home so we went to Tesco and bought smiley faces and chicken D: they were so yummy, but it was like 600 calories just for that. daaaamn.

then i went to the gym, burnt about 350 calories and then did a half hour walk home. i also took 6 laxatives, same as yesterday, and yesterday i lost 2.5lbs. i know it's water weight, i'm not stupid. but i don't care. the numbers going down, and that's what i need to see right now. so yeah, i'm a little peeved off, but i think i can handle it with cutting. i haven't cut in a loooong time (over two months i think? =D)

my mum totally pisses me off though. she came home from work and this was our conversation.

her: did you revise today?
me: yeah (this was actually true)
her: how much?
me: about 4 or 5 hours? (again, true)
her: *disappointed sigh*
me: what's up now?
her: do you want to pass your exams or not? all you seem to do is sit on your arse.
me: i did 5 hours revision!
her: when I was your age, i did about 10 hours a day, for weeks before
me: okay, and i don't?
her: you're going to fail emma
me: i have one gcse mother. it is not going to take me 1000 hours revision to learn it :| i do 100x more revision than anybody else i know, and you're still pushing me harder. what do you want from me?
her: for you to pass your gcse's.


eugh, i could have killed her. she seriously screws around my brain :|

love you all,

Emma xxxxx

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