So I went to the doctor's a few days ago about my irregular periods and she decided to do two things.
a) she put me on the pill. microgynon to be specific. hopefully this is going to sort out my periods since at the moment i'm getting them every few months and then they'll last weeks and ANYWAY haha tmi. but i don't think i'm reacting well to this pill. basically since I've been taking it i've fallen back into my complete depression; i can't concentrate, i'm doing no work, i'm sleeping so much... i just don't know what to do. i have exams in a week and i'm so scared that i can't get myself out of this depression.
b) she's sending me for blood tests tomorrow to see if i have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome). I was pretty upset about it when I got home because I realised that I might struggle to have children in the future, and if there's one thing that I've always wanted, it's babies and a family. but i'm even more upset now because i've been doing some googling, and apparently pcos can be caused by bulimia or just general yo-yoing in your diet - binging and then restricting.
i can't believe that i might have caused my own infertility. i might have prevented myself from having children. i might have crushed my only dream, because of this disorder.
i've never been so heartbroken.
