Simply having a wonderful christmas time (HA!)

Well.

Christmas was not particularly fun! i spent about 2 hours on christmas monring working out because i knew i'd have to eat a lot and my laxatives weren't working very well. so then i ate, then spent the evening praying that i wouldn't kill myself. it was horrific.

then on boxing day i ate a lot of food, and today i ate burger king, curry, everything. its disgusting. i've gained so much weight.

also, i think my cousin might have an eating disorder. i'm so worried about her. she tried on a pair of size 8 jeans and they didn't fit, so she got a size 10 and was really upset about it. but i mean, she used to be a size 16 last time i saw her, and that was only about 2 months ago. and yesterday she just had a bit of salad and a quarter of a sandwich, and a few chocolates. and today she just had a teeny bit of rice. and this is the girl who once ate an entire tub of ice cream with me, who used to have races with her sister of who could eat a giant hot dog the fastest.

but the thing is, my first reaction wasn't to worry about her. no. are you ready? it was jealousy. i was fucking JEALOUS that she had more self control than me, and she'd lost more weight than me. how messed up am i?!

anyway, i don't want to write anymore, i just want to forget all this ever happened.

i hope you all had a good christmas, i love you all. thanks for following by the way, please comment with any questions or whatever! :)

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Christmas has officially started....

Well...

the Christmas period has certainly started for me. i ate waaaaaay too much! and its not even Christmas Eve yet. wtf? so, "what did you eat?" i hear you ask. well, if you really want to know...

Breakfast - none

Lunch - homemade vegetable soup - 50

1/6 of quiche - 150

And then it all started to get messy

Snack - Doritos - 250

Dinner - Omlette - 200

Oven chips - 300

As well as half a barcardi breezer and like 5 chocolate liquers. oh dear.

And tomorrow it's Christmas Eve. Well, Christmas Eve is a large event in our family. We head to Church around 4.30 and then afterwards we have a full on meal. You know, little nibbles to start with, then a main course and a dessert. not good. we're having loads of crisps and stuff before our meal, then a big sit down meal. then for dessert we're having a cheese board, which i love love love but have a lot lot lot of calories. EW.

and then for Christmas Day we're obviously having a Christmas dinner and then loads of chocolates and all that stuff. i'm dreading it. I want to enjoy it, but i know that even if i enjoy it at the time, i'll regret it later. but if i sit around not eating, then i'll not have a fun christmas, and christmas is only once a year. so i can't decide what to do. MEH.

anything interesting happen for you guys?

love love love,

Emma <3